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Cumnock v 2XV
13/09/08
Auchinleck Road
0 - 50

Having been unable to get his battalion of Rebel fighter's out of Tattooine the previous week, Captain Obi
Wan Hartley mustered 14 “X” wing pilots for the kick off in deepest darkest Ayrshire. Being from this part of
the galaxy, Obi Wan H was able to negotiate terms with the Empirical forces of Cumnock in the local
language and they agreed to play uncontested scrums whilst the rebels awaited the arrival of Colin “Han
Solo” Gray who was experiencing difficulty with the warp drive on the Millennium Falcon.

Amazingly, no scrummaging was called for before Chewy replaced the dilethium crystals and “Han” Gray
took to the field.

The rest of the game was played in the best of spirits seen in a long time with both sides determined to make
the day about rugby which was to the credit of the hosts and visitors alike.

With no touch judges for either side, it was left to Luke Skycoq to perform Jedi mind tricks on the referee in
getting him to award a couple of "dubious" lineouts which may actually have been kicked out on the full. The
try scored by newbie Mark “Anakin Sky“ Walker was case in point.

Half time team talk centered on the fantastic support play, excellent clearing out and how a solid platform was
always available to assist Scott “Mace Windu” Miller pass to the back line. Concern was shown at the lack of
lineout ball we were stealing for the Empire's throw in, but a transcript of the forwards discussion on this
problem has been secured (at a heavy cost to rebel spies)  

OBI WAN HARTLEY: How we no win them ball?
HAN COLIN: Them move jumper, we no get near ball!
SKYCOQ: How come we no move then?
(All three nod and smile knowingly)

The second half saw the rebel forces of the MIB assert their authority on every aspect of the game, stealing
line outs, taking scrums against the head and turning over ball exactly as they had been taught to do by
Master Yoda Watson. It was universally agreed that perhaps turning up for training DID make a difference
after all, who'd have thought it?

No fewer than 8 tries were scored on the day, with Master Yoda Watson converting 5 of them. A hat trick from
C3PO Twiggy was the highlight of the game with Craig "JarJar" Waddell scoring from an ancient and long
thought defunct Polis penalty set piece call coming a close second....

Kyle "Qui Gon" McDougall also took a brace of tries from the day, and despite numerous objections and an
appeal to the trade federation, Tom “R2D2” Petrie secured Thighs of the week.

In the afterglow of battle, the name of the invisible scorer were taken by the evil Darth Rab, but I'm sure the
brave hero will get in touch to ensure his name is immortalised in the club annuls (sounds painful) and that
“Queen Amidala” Barber can award him his medal.

da da dadada DA da..... ad nauseum.


X Wing PIlots
:
15 Paul Thompson; 14 Mark Walker; 13 Kyle McDougall; 12 Tom Petrie; 11 Graeme Collier; 10 Alan
Watson; 9 Scott Miller; 8 Marcus Littlejohn; 7 Jamie Campbell; 6 Brian Roy; 5 Robert 'Cooheid' McAteer; 4
Craig Waddell; 3 Colin Gray; 2 Robert Armour; 1 Scott Campbell